Monday 28 April 2014

It's GO Time!


So I'm not going to publish this until the little man is here, but OMG we are having a baby! Well of course we are, but we are actually going to have a baby at most in the next few days!
At 10:45pm on 28th April, Channy got up to blow her nose and her waters broke!!!!!!!! Now they broke before she blew her nose, so no, it wasn't the nose blowing that broke it lol.
So we both just kinda looked at each other and paused for a moment to decide what to do lol
Then Channy called the hospital and they said to go on in to be checked and monitored. So next call was to Channy's sister who was on standby to look after the kids...which of course we have because their father has chosen now to go on an extended holiday!
Anyway, we called...and called...and called some more, but like most people do at night, her phone was on silent. So we called our dear friend Erin to come over til Channy's sister could get here (she's about 20 minutes away) and after Erin realised that we were serious, she came over, still kind of asleep and expected to see Channy panting on the ground naked lmao!
So anyway, we finally get ahold of Channy's sister (17 calls later lol) and we head to the hospital. By this stage Channy is having a few contractions, but nothing serious, just little cramps really.
So we get to the hospital and they check her out, and yep, her waters have definitely broken. They hook her up to the CTG and she's having mild contractions, which is a good start. So then a really lovely doctor comes in to have a chat, and was great at explaining everything, then says she wants to do an internal.
So she does her bit, wand says that we are only 1cm dilated, which is 1 cm closer to meeting our baby!
So our options are to hang around and wait, or go home and get some rest...so we opt to go home. I asked Channy if she wants anything to eat on the way home, and she said no. Then when we were just about home she says, 'I could probably go a cheeseburger'. So what else does one do when In labour but go through Maccas drive thru ,
So now we are home...but not resting...too excited and timing contractions, which at this point are about 8 minutes apart...so now we wait!

So it's now 10:43, and we are still waiting...no more or no less regular contractions...so we still wait. Heading off for a walk soon. We have to head back up to the hospital at 3:30 this afternoon. Hopefully more happens by then! 

Update: it's now 12:56 and this feels like the longest day of my life lol! We all went for a walk at about 11 to see if that kicked things along...she had all of 1 contraction while walking pffffft! So we come home and decide to have a rest. Lie down and about 5 minutes later they hit! 3 1/2 minutes apart! At the moment she is napping and they have slowed to about 7-8 minutes apart. Part of me wants to make her move to get things going, but part of me wants to let her rest! She is worried at the moment that if we go to the hospital, they will stop or tell her to go back home, which I understand completely! Nothing worse than thinking you are getting somewhere and you aren't...so more waiting for now.

So it's now 8:40pm on Tuesday. We have been up at the hospital since about 4pm, at which time not too much was going on...contractions here & there but nothing stable/regular/shout worthy! So the decision was made to start an IV of cintocinon which was started at 6:30pm. It only made it to 4 mls before contractions became pretty intense! They are about every 3-4 minutes apart at the moment and enough to render a f*^k or two 😉 
At this point Channy is coping great with the pain, although I don't think she feels the same way! 
Love this girl to bits!
Next stop is doctor to do an internal at about 10:30, so the hour forty five countdown is on! I'm hoping for about 5cms! 

Well well well...that all got away from me lol! It's now 7:59am on Thursday May first! And our boy has been here for 23 hours and 54 minutes! That's right! Luca Paul joined our family at 8:05am on Wednesday 30th April! Not even the month he was supposed to be born!
Tuesday & Wednesday were very full on, and he ended up entering the the world via emergency c-section. Although he was teensy tiny, poor Channy has a pelvic arch that is even smaller, and there is no way he would have fit! But he is here, and he is perfect and I simply cannot believe it! 
I don't have time at the moment to finish off the birth journey, but I want to do it very soon while it is still fresh. But for now I will end with the perfection that is our son!

Luca Paul Kanofski-Tenuyl
Wednesday 30/04/2014
5lb 9oz
46cm







Friday 25 April 2014

The waiting game...

So, technically we only have at most 35 days until we meet our little man! In reality, it could be at any moment! This bun cooking adventure has simply flown by! And not just for me! Even Channy says how fast it has gone! 
Although she has hit the uncomfortable, can't sleep properly, need to pee every 5 seconds stage, she said this morning she is really wanting to meet him but doesn't want it to be over! She's the pregnant woman everyone hopes they will be! She really is enjoying every single moment of it, which I think is as much of a shock to her as it is to me! It's an amazing feeling being pregnant for the for the first time! Everything is new and exciting as well as scary and overwhelming! But I am over the moon that she really has enjoyed it all! (Insert massive smiley face here)
Anyway, today we got in and finished off all the last little things in bubbas room. We have had it pretty well set up for a couple of months now, but had some stuff just chucked in there *blush*. So now we are ready to roll! I even put the car seat in the car to get the kids used to it being there! And we had a bit of a mission fitting the pram in with one of the back seats up to fit all the kids in, but after about 15 minutes of head scratching and taking it out and putting it back in, we got it sorted! YAY
So I shall leave you with a snap shot of the nursery, which will probably never look like this again once the little man arrives ;-)


Thursday 24 April 2014

Day of reflection



A day of reflection, respect and rememberence. ANZAC Day has always been a day that has touched me, and I'm always moved to tears at the Dawn Service. This year I took both my daughters with me, it being the first one Ayla has attended. Rhiannon has been to quite a few, but she has always been a child who is capable of being quiet and appreciating things that most adults can't. Ayla on the other hand, is the kind of child that can't keep quiet even if her life depended on it! But this morning she made me one proud mamma! Sitting quietly, taking everything in and saving her questions and observations for the walk back to the car <3
I thought that I would come home and snuggle back into the warmth of my bed and have a bit more sleep, but I'm the kind of person that once I'm awake, I'm up! So home for another coffee with my girl, who stayed tucked up in bed so we didn't have to take Connor (for those not aware, Connor has autism, and struggles big time with waiting and sitting still). I would have liked to take Connor to see how he went because his teacher wrote in his communication book yesterday that he sat beautifully through the service at school, and he was most excited to tell me he heard the "ANZAC song", but I really don't think that is the kind of place to test his patience. Perhaps next year.

So now today we are going to do the final finishing touches to the nursery, put the car seat in the car & just generally have a quiet relaxing day :-) love having days off with my family <3

Lest We Forget

Be kind to yourself and love those around you just a little bit more than you did yesterday
Bel xx

Liquid Gold!

At our last ante natal visit last week the midwife mentioned something that is completely new to me, which isn't an overly odd thing as soooo much has changed in the past 8 years since I was pregnant! Apparently now it is a common practice to express colostrum before bub arrives! It's not recommended, or even allowed, until 36 weeks, as stimulation can cause uterine irritation and lead to contractions, but considering we are now in the 'full term' status (eeeeeeeeppppp), it's all systems go. 
Now I get the theory behind it all - you express some colostrum, hopefully remember to take it to the hospital in the mad rush that is sure to be craziness, and have it on hand 'just in case' baby needs to go to the nursery or can't feed properly from the breast. It's a great idea...in theory...but my concern with it is the pressure it places on the mum-to-be even before baby arrives! There is such a stigma attached to breasfeeding...it is such a taboo subject among many online & real life communities! And it shouldn't be! It saddens me that there is so much pressure and negativity surrounding something as simple as the basic human right to be nourished! 
I was very lucky to be able to breastfeed all 3 of my children! Infact, I was thinking about it while brushing my teeth (weird I know) and I have so far spent over 4 & 1/2 years being the human equivalent of a jersey cow lol! However, if I were unable to feed my babies, I would hope that I had enough positive support in my life to move onto bottle feeding without a hitch! Does it really matter how my babies are nourished? As long as they ARE in fact being nourished and properly cared for, who's f'ing business is it how it's achieved? 
Ok, getting right back down off my soapbox and back to the reason for my post! So we hit the 36 week mark on Tuesday, so tonight Channy had a go at getting some of that much desired liquid gold into a cup, and OMG did she what! I was a hell of a milk maker back in the day, and had enough milk to feed a small village, but I'm positive I wouldn't have gotten 25mls of the ever perfect colostrum BEFORE giving birth! My girl is a champion! She had been quite concerned about not being able to breast feed, even to the point of saying the other day that she was more worried about that than actually giving birth! Yup, she's nuts lol. But that is the pressure that is inadvertently put on mums! If the fear of not being able to breast feed is greater than the fear of labour and delivery, there is something seriously wrong with the message being sent to mums! 
I do my absolute best to support my girl in her decisions, regardless of what they are, and I will certainly not be forcing anything on her that she's not happy with! And I hope that the fact that she has managed to get far more from her first time expressing than I even thought possible, is enough to ease her mind and prove to her that it's not something that should be stressed over, rather something that should be embraced if possible, and moved on from with comfort & ease if not! 
So I'll leave you with the evidence! I certainly wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it, so wouldn't expect anyone else to ;-)

Off to catch some z's, because tomorrow is ANZAC day & my little girls & I are headed to the Dawn Service to pay our respects!

Night night all.

Be kind to yourself and love those around you just a little bit more than you did yesterday
Bel xx


Wednesday 23 April 2014

Womb with a view

So the OCD in me is starting to peek through...we moved our room around on Tuesday to make room for the bassinet (eeeeeeek!) and then last night when we were about to take our weekly photo we realised that the photo wouldn't be as easy to take...now Channy has to stand between the doors of the ensuite & walk in robe, and let me just say that the bump is almost as wide as the little part of the wall ;-)
But this also means that for some reason the pic is coming out less sharp :-( which means it isn't the same as the others, and not being the same kind of erks me lmao

4 weeks to go! OMG, how did that happen?

Be kind to yourself and love those around you just a little bit more than you did yesterday
Bel xx

Talk about parallel universe!

So I stumbled across a FB page on Tuesday about a beautiful couple embarking on the journey of becoming mums, and reading through it all and watching their VLOGs I swear they are Channy & I 12 months ago! They live in Victoria, which is about the only place we differ, and they had experienced the loss of a bubba, and have just now discovered they are expecting again! Sooo much of what they write could have been written by Channy & I, it is just too much lol
It's almost as if I can go back and read their posts and relive what we were doing this time last year! Which is kind of nice, because it makes me remember things that I had probably forgotten what with all the excitement and focus that is on our little bubba now! 
If you want to take a look, head over here 2 Baby Mamas

In other news, Channy has been having some pretty intense cramping since yesterday, which is most likely pre-labour pains, which are a great thing! Not really ready for him to arrive just yet (well, physically & practically we are, have been for months now) but I think at least a couple more weeks of cooking would be ideal for him health & strength wise :-) 

We had a little chat last night about the possibility of him arriving on ANZAC Day (tomorrow) and whether we would include Zac in his name to honor our fallen ANZACs, but he already has 4 names, so to add another to the mix would just me asking for him to not be able to say or write his name properly until he hits puberty lol. 

It's starting to get a wee bit chilly here in the mornings, and anyone that knows me knows I HATE winter! But this year I'm actually really looking forward to it! The only reason being, that I had told myself months ago that the start of the cooler months means that we are getting so close to bringing baby into the world, so I can tolerate the chill purely for that :-)

Be kind to yourself and love those around you just a little bit more than you did yesterday
Bel xx

Monday 21 April 2014

She know's ALL!

We went to visit my 80year old Nana today, and Channy made me laugh when we were getting ready this morning...she was looking for baggy clothes...in the hope that the belly would be inconspicuous! But my Nana being my Nana, knows all! Nothing was said the entire 3 hours we were there about the baby, not even the kids mentioned it, then as we were leaving, she asked Channy "so when's this one coming out?"!!!! The colour of Channy's face can only be likened to a tomato as she blushed away and said "4 weeks". That's the first time she has really made me stop & think, holy shit, there's a baby coming REALLY SOON! How did that happen? 8-/
I had mentioned to Channy early on in the pregnancy that regardless of whether or not we told Nana about the impending baby, she would know! The town she lives in is the town I grew up in, and it's a small country town in every sense of the phrase, in that everyone knows what everyone else is up to before they are actually up to it! So of course Nana knew about the baby! 
To be honest, it is somewhat of a relief! I know she will be excited when he comes, she does love little babies! 
We also went out and visited my dad's grave on the way home. I really wish we were closer so I could go more often. I really wonder what he would be thinking about the whole baby situation...he was a very straight down the line man, so I imagine he would be like Nana...don't talk about it and it's not a problem lol. I do miss him so very much :-( and really wish he was here to see his grand babies, all 4 of them. Going out there today kind of made me want to give the baby his middle name, but we are already set on a name, and Connor & I already have his name, so think it was just my emotions getting the better of me. 

Be kind to yourself and love those around you just a little bit more than you did yesterday

Bel xx

Friday 18 April 2014

A little light viewing

Now I've bored you all to death (not sure who I'm referring to yet, as I have a total of 0 readers lol) time for a little light viewing...here's Channy's growing belly in pictures. From the 12 week scan to now, 35 weeks. We didn't start doing photos until we hit the 17 week mark, so there a a couple early on not anywhere, but it really didn't change too much. That can't be said for weeks from 17 to 35 though ;-)

Thursday 17 April 2014

Here goes nothing!

How does one start a blog exactly? Well, smack bang in the middle of life I guess...so here goes...

I started to blog about this time last year...but that was all brought to a sudden halt! You see, we (being Channy & I) decided at the beginning of 2013 to add to our family! It was something that we had always talked about, pretty much from day 1. In the beginning, when we were just having 'fun' I had decided that I was done having kids, but the fact that Channy was only 21 meant that she was at a point in her life that she was just starting to really want them. Little did I know, that me saying that I didn't want anymore was almost a deal breaker for her. I have 3 children to a previous marriage, and in that relationship, the desire to have more kids was never even entertained. My ex was adamant that 3 was more than enough, especially considering that he didn't want any at all, I'd settled with the fact that 3 was better than none. So it took me a while to come to terms with the notion that I could now do whatever I wanted, even when it came to having kids!
So fast forward about 3 years, and one night we were talking, just before Christmas, and I blurted out that I wanted us to start trying to have a baby. The majority of the time we had talked about kids, I was going to be the one who carried, although Channy had a burning desire to have a child that was biologically hers, she was petrified of being pregnant & giving birth. To be honest, I think it was more a case of she was worried about what people would say & think if she were pregnant. I think deep down she has always been concerned about what other people think, which saddens me, because I'm the complete opposite...take me as I am or walk out of my life! I must admit though, when she decided to be the biological mother, I was a little relieved. Although I yearn to carry a baby and experience childbirth all over again, there is the factor of my family that comes into play...well, mainly my Nana. She knows that Channy & I are together, but my family, (all of them), have always been the kind of family that thinks that if you don't directly talk about something it's not actually there...ie. if we don't discuss my relationship with Channy, then we must just be friends. Ridiculous, I know, but that's how they are.
So anyway, trying to explain to my rather religious 80 year old Nana that I'm pregnant even though I'm not in a straight relationship would probably push her over the edge and I don't want to lose her! She's the only one in my family that I think still actually loves me! I'm pretty sure my parents (my mum & step-dad) know pretty much everything that goes on in my life from either cyber stalking or asking extended family members about my Facebook posts, but they aren't game to raise any of it for fear of being caught out! 
My parents and my only sibling, my older brother, all live in Melbourne, and have done for quite a few years now. We speak on the phone for special occasions and catch up briefly when they return to Queensland, which isn't more than maybe twice a year. 
So back on topic, I haven't told anyone in my family really about the very fast approaching birth of baby #4, because to them, the fact that Channy is having the baby would simply mean that she is having a baby, not that I am having a baby, or that my kids are going to have a younger sibling. 
Anyway, this time last year, we had searched long and hard and selected a donor to be father for our baby. We had entertained the idea of going through a clinic, but fertility wise, there was no reason why either of us couldn't conceive 'naturally', so we couldn't justify the cost of going through a clinic. So we had found a donor online - yep, you can even find sperm on the interwebs if you look hard enough - and set about the task of tracking ovulation and contacting the donor and organising collection and doing the deed lol. 
It all seemed so straight forward! We got the swimmers, put them in, and BANG Channy had a little belly bean growing away happily! All the precautions were taken, we were both being really healthy, Channy got all the proper medical care and attention, had been experiencing all the symptoms of being pregnant, and then come the 12 week scan, there was no tiny flicker on the screen where baby's heart beat should have been :'-( It was devastating to say the least. As much as you think you are prepared for the worst in those first fragile weeks, nothing can prepare you for loss and the pain that comes with it. I think the thing that got me the most was my then 9 year olds reaction to it. She was devastated. And although I had said I wanted to wait until 12 weeks to share it with the kids, I didn't realise just how much pain a young child can feel, when I didn't really think she actually understood what it was all about. 
So moving along a few months (a few monts of intense grief on Channy's part, and a few months of feeling absolutely hopeless on my part, because all I wanted to do was take the pain away) we decided to have another crack at it. Now our original donor had initially said he was happy to donate as many times as we wanted, whether it be that it didn't work or that we wanted siblings, but when it actually came to getting into contact with him after we had lost the baby (yes he was aware we were pregnant, yes he seemed genuinely happy for us, yes he was like an old mother hen saying make sure you take your vitamins and look after yourself, but that was possibly the doctor coming out in him) he was nowhere to be found. It's almost as if he'd fallen off the face of the earth. Now a simple, sorry I don't want to donate again was all we were asking for if that was the case, but we couldn't even get that out of him :-/
So we start the whole process again. Which, by the way, is filled with trials and tribulations all of its own! You have to sift through the weirdos and weed out the (for want of a better word lol) wankers, and deal with the comments like "I will only do it naturally, I'm not jizzing in a cup" or "can you two send through some videos to help me on my way", and let's face it, there are not too many men out there willing to give away their swimmers without getting something in return. BUT we hit the jackpot again, and found ourselves an awesome donor, who we were both extremely comfortable with, and went down the baby making road yet again...and...nothing :-( 
I had forgotten how heartbreaking the 1 single line on a home pregnancy test (or a few dozen of them really) can be! 
So we waited another month, moved house and tried again, and BANG baby on board!
Now to say we were on edge for the first 12 weeks is the understatement of the century! Until we had that much anticipated 12 week scan, we were walking on egg shells! And there it was! A perfect little (well on the slightly bigger side) healthy fully formed baby with a perfect little heartbeat flicking away on the screen! Breathe...breathe...breathe...
Fast forward 23 weeks, and in 5 weeks or thereabouts, we will have a screaming little bundle of 'joy' in our house, and wondering just why we decided to add madness to a house already full of mayhem! 
But to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way! I'm over the moon about this little person entering the world, knowing that I was a huge part, albeit not the biological mother, in bringing him into this world. Yes, it is a little boy :-D
So I realise that there are 20 odd weeks missing in this story, and probably the best part of it to have blogged, because there are details that I won't recall later on that I wish I had have, but you know, life just gets in the way far too often to be able to put keyboard to screen!
So here we are...sitting at 35 weeks 4 days pregnant, still a bit baffled that this is all actually going to happen. Sure, we have a nursery set up with more baby stuff than a small orphanage of babies could make use of...we have the protruding belly that moves and kicks and makes it impossible for Channy to reach her feet, but it is still so surreal that THERE IS A BABY IN THERE!
So it is my mission, in the mix of mayhem and madness, to blog the important things in life to pass on to my child! I've never been one for consistently keeping a journal, or even taking brief notes to remember things, but I need to! I want my kids to look back one day and say, hey, that's what my mums' lives were like. That's what we did to them when we were kids. That's how much they loved us regardless of what we did to them! And I can see them saying well, we really don't care, but thanks for thinking about us....so really this is just for me to reflect on later in life and realise that I did do good somewhere along the way! 

Now if you got this far through my first post, give yourself a pat on the back and reward yourself with a wine/chocolate/beer/whatever takes your fancy, because you are probably now wondering how the hell you get back the 10 minutes or so of time that you just waisted reading ;-) and if you are so inclined, pop back in again soon for another non eventful post, which will likely be when baby is turning 1 & I've found some spare time to drone on a bit more about what's happened in the last 12 months lol. 

Be kind to yourself and love those around you just a little bit more than you did yesterday

Bel xx